Sooo damn tired lately, I haven't been getting as much sleep because I end up not getting to bed until 5 or 6 in the morning, and waking up around 9 due to all the noise in the house. Last night I slept really well though.

I hung out with Mike a bit this weekend since he was in town so that was pretty nice. Met some of his friends, played some god box game of life, and went to see Angels & Demons and Terminator. (I really hate all the "and"s in that sentence >.<). Good company, Good movies, good beer=good times. Also met his parents and sisters, that was pretty nice as well.

Work has been slow and pretty horrible lately, but I might be getting a job at a tattoo parlor in Allen Park with an internship. My dad was talking to me about that at my sisters graduation so I have to stop by there and mention Kyles name, bring my sketchbook and such.

Aside from those things, life has been pretty casual. Most days I hang out with Zero and sometimes Unfy, watch movies, read, whatever else comes to my mind to do while Zero sits there and plays wow. Or we go out to the metro park since I have a seasonal pass for it and take pictures. I didn't get stalked by deer this last time though, so go me! Deer can no haz sammich!

But, thats about it for whats going on in my life. Figured I'd make the update.

So I don't know what other people thought, but this year, Acen itself seemed to be lacking A LOT of the fun that I remembered. The game room was horrible, there were few room parties this year, and there just seemed to be nothing to do. I still had a good time, to an extent. Went to the gundam panels, but that was about the only thing i went to in which I needed my badge, besides the dealers room.

It doesn't help improve the mood of the weekend when you're broken up with. Yes, I did something stupid and lost the camcorder, I can understand being upset and mad over that, but ending a year and a half long relationship over it? Lovely to see how little it takes to end something that was going quite well, at least so I thought.

Whatever though, I let that get me down for maybe an hour or two before forcing myself to cheer up and go down to meet boon, which I almost didn't do. I'm glad I did though, because that changed the entire mood for the weekend and I ended up having a lot of fun and making a new friend, well a few new friends even. Since Laura and I finally met and we had girl talk time. I'm glad though that we could clear everything up and fix that little bump in the road. I actually like her and look forward to seeing her again. With more cookies in tow. Yay.

I'm starting to think this break up is a good thing. Much as I enjoy being in a relationship with someone I can trust and have fun with, it also caused way more stress than I would have liked and I rarely focused on me time (I'm far too much a people pleaser) and I'll likely start having more money again, rather than having to spend most of it on feeding him or picking him up this and that. All little things, but they added up to quite a bit each week. We might remain friends, who knows, right now he's on the indecisive will we get back together soon phase, in which the more time it takes for him to come up with an answer, the more time I realize even if he wants to, I don't think I do. I use to think that I just couldn't bare to lose him from my life, or that I'd be a depressed downer for at least a month after, but I got over it rather quickly. And I'll have more time for me, and perhaps getting back to some semblance of a social life again. Also, get back more into reading since I've neglected that mental stimulation for some time now, since the only thing I've really ever read lately is the cisco book. I'll get my life on track and in order again and focus a little more on me and having fun without the backdrop of misery.

Yarr, that was a rather long rant, at least moreso than I'm use to these days. I have to hop in the shower soon before work and get dressed. This paycheck is going to fail due to 7 less hours. So maybe only a little over a hundred bucks this week. I have to pay off part of my tab, and pay some people back, so I'll have just enough gas to get me two and from work, and to a few places I might want to go.

Well, that is it for now. I'll try to update more often! (I know I've said that a hundred times over)

so yeah, I haven't really posted here in awhile xD I'm not on the net as much as I use to be though, I get on, check myspace, email, deviantart and then hop on wow for about 30 minutes to do my hodir dailies and cooking/fishing dailies. Now that I got exalted with hodir, I'll start parking myself over in scholozar or whatever and do my oracles rep grind for that damn egg in hopes of a mount (I have all the pets from the egg already, due to guildies being nice and knowing I'm a horribly addicted pet collector. So close to the salt like...SO CLOSE!) and yeah. once in awhile I get on in time to get into a raid, or find one, or get the will power to deal with people enough to start one.

I hate this server... and wish we hadn't transferred here. WTF IS WITH ALL THESE DAMN HEALERS NOT ABLE TO HEAL THEMSELVES!? In any fight where they don't get hurt at all, they're fine, great even. But god forbid they have to keep an eye on their own health. I watched a healer during saph stay down at like 15% of his health before dying. And I see this most often with priests, likely because they're squishy. Oh well.

'side from that, I've pretty much given up on the game. Content is too easy, people are too stupid. Steve gave up for awhile but he's been getting on a lil more often, granted not on our server as of late where a chick plays that he screwed before he and I got back together. So.. a lil uncomfortable with that concept somewhat, I don't mind them being friends and all and talking casually here and there, but it's just kind of uncomfortable for me. God forbid trying to explain that to him though, then I get made out to be the bad guy for thinking anything is wrong with it because it "shows what I think of him." and shit. Meh. Never mind that I'm not suppose to talk to my ex's and it pisses him off when I do on the very very rare occassion. (what can I say, I'm kind of a bitch at times and it's good to throw the fact that I'm happy, and have a job, in Jesse's face while he continues to be jobless and living at his moms on her support).


However, I am excited about Acen a lot. Ed and I have really started talking a lot about it. Fluffy seems... disinterested in most of it, but I'm sure he'll have a good time between all his usual bitching xD He needs to lighten up. Is there meds for aspergers? I should just slip something in his food x.x And then Steve of course is so-so about it, since he's not huge on anime, just likes a few, never been to any type of con really, and is flat-footed so will be foot-sore a lot. So many negative nancys. Lol. But I plan to still have a good time, and I know Ed will too at least. We're driving there and leaving thur night after I get off work (which reminds me, Steff. Can you work that Sat for me and I'll work your monday or something? It'll be sat. may 9th. And when is that friday I'm suppose to be working so you can do fcn? The 24th? I'll assume thats it) I'll also be putting a bit of booze on my tab to pay off with the week afters paycheck. Everclear, Zombie, various pucker flavors that will stay out of steves reach until we get to the con, mcgullicudies and whatever we still have laying around as well.

Fuck... my hearing went out again, now I hear everything like I have thick cotton stuffed all the way through my ear canel. x.x I hate when that happens.

Well... I'm going to go curl up in a ball of warm because it's freezing.

Last year I didn't get to go to Acen, there was too much going on with the break up and moving for me to even think about acen. But now, I have a steady income, been putting money away so that I'll have a grand or so just on spending money alone (not counting the vast amount of booze and candy I'm bringing) and it's just going to be a great Acen. Steve, Ed, and I are cosplaying this year(Steve=kenpachi, me=rukia or the lil pink haired girl always with kenpachi, Ed=Bankai Ichigo), and out of my group, I'm the only one who has been there so it'll be fun bringing them all around. Fluffy is going to be driving, rather than us taking the amtrak and we'll prolly leave when I get off work thursday night. Already got everything else paid for too, I'm super excited ^_^ been showing ed all sorts of videos of the fun things at Acen.

Today, the whole group of us went out to Novi to Mirai, One World Market (where I got free sample sushi, only to realize it was the spicy kind) and then Mongolian BBQ. Steve and Ed have never been there, I convinced Steve to go after his complaints of not liking stir-fry, and he ended up loving the place and getting 3 bowls worth, while Ed and I did what we do. Drink. We're a bunch of alchies. And yet, even buzzed, we knew how to get back better than our sober driver.

"You know... you're getting back on 96."
"no I'm not, I know where I'm going."
"Really, thats why you're on the road with the arrow pointing at it, saying I-96, rather than on the right, where it's outer drive?"
"Oh shit son."

haha. Worst thing is then he got off at the next exit, drove down a bit, figured thats getting us no where, drove back to get on 96 and just finish off to southfield and hop on 75 to get to woodhaven.

All the while, I had to use the bathroom =.= that sucked.

But all in all, it was nice to get out, and hang out, even if we kind of cancelled our WoW raid time for it. (Steve being the Main Tank and guild/raid leader, me being one of the top DPS and the one who has to get everyone together. Oh, and our off tank was wandered off somewhere watching movies with his mom, so I guess it doesnt matter anyhow. At least arenas are back up, fuck raiding xD)

good times had for all. Yay

I am not, in any way, a morning person. But as it stand, it's 8am and I'm up. I feel like crap, but I can't fall back asleep now. Was woken up to go move my truck out of the driveway so that my mom can take my siblings to school. In about three more hours I'm heading to the bank to open a checking account, and then afterwards I'm going to drop by my work to pick up and cash my check before going to Steves for the weekend, as is my usual agenda.

I do love getting paid every friday. I wish I had weekends off though, instead of working saturday. But I can't complain, at least I have a job. Though I think I'll start putting applications in elsewhere, for something closer to home, the days that I have to drive from lincoln park to carleton just hurt me in gas.

On the plus side, I might go pay off mine and steve's reserves for WotLK collectors boxes, and I can't wait until the next patch comes out with the new talent trees. Steve has been enjoying the fact that his pally is a legitamite CC now, not to mention the whirlwind damage/healing ability.

I like having a stun, even if it only works on frozen targets, that only means ice lance does the most optimal damage during the 5 secs. my target is stunned. :D And I was 6th in damage in hyjal, and considering the gear of the people there, I feel pretty good about myself. Theres still a good bit of armor upgrades I could use. But nothing I can really get unless the guild gets active in higher end content, which won't happen as it's "racing to a dead end" with WotLK coming out in a month and a half. So Ill stick with 2 t4 and the rest being badge loots, while getting highlandar up in SSO rep to get the exalted gem plans (I really need spell hit rating, REALLY need it)

Oh, after getting Steve the orange box, I'd been watching him play TF2 with interest. It took about a week for me to finally cave in and get it for myself and have been playing it pretty often. I'm still getting use to other classes, while I continue to get better at playing the lock of the game, Pyro. I also love the "Meet the" videos for Team Fortress 2.

Mhm. I'm working over at a liquor store in Carleton, same place Steff works, and working 4 days a week.
Mon- 3-10
Wed- 9-3
Thur- 3-10
Sat- 3-11

And paid every friday. Made 90$ last week but I only got 12 hours of work in because I had just started that week. I actually started work on my birthday. And now I have a fine collection of liquor to choose from. Creme de menthe (w/ vanilla icecream) UV Red, Gin, Scotch Whiskey, and later today I'm getting a fifth of Jack from my dad.

Drank a lil on my birthday, since I didn't work until the afternoon the next day, and stayed at Steves that night. Well... I'm almost always here or at Steffs now because it's 10-15 minutes closer to work so I like to save a bit of gas. Today I guess is cake and icecream day with the family. I still owe Steff a b-day gift, but I plan on getting her a 1gig stick of ram for her computer so that WoW isn't so laggy for her. (she has the bare minimum of 512 right now)

I woke up today though feeling like crap. My back and neck were sore from sleeping on the floor, and I didn't sleep well because I kept having bad dreams. x.x I hate when that happens. Then I woke up having to vomit. I think the food I ate yesterday was bad or just disagreed with my stomach.

I'm learning how to not voice my opinions on politics and the presidential candidacy at work though. It seems my bosses, or at least one of them, is an avid McCain supporter. I've had to kind of keep my mouth shut on a lot of things there that I've heard and wanted to comment on actually. The last 2 hours of my day are both my favorite, and my least favorite. I don't have to deal with people, but if I forget to bring a jacket, I freeze my ass off. Stupid coolers.

And now Steve is yelling at me to hug him. So imma go do that, and harass him while he plays Team Fortress 2 (I bought him The Orange Box the other day, he's already beat portals, and the advanced difficulty too x.x)

So next week I turn 21. I'm not really sure how I feel about it though. I mean a lot of people are all YAY I CAN BUY BEER!!!1!111!!! and while I'm a bit fond of alcohol. It's not that big of a deal to me. I mean, when I want something to drink it's when I'm at steve's at night either during or after a long and annoying raid, or just a sip here and there. And then I just raid the liquor thats here. Finished the Jack, half the vodka, and such, as well as the cheap scotch we bought on his birthday.

And now I have my mix of vodka and cherry pucker sitting by my moniter that I barely touched today since I'll be driving home later tonight more than likely. And when I want something else I could just tell him hey, heres my keys, heres some money, go pick this and that up, or I could just drive him there. So the only difference is doing it myself. Big whoop?

Aside from that aspect of it, I guess it's really the last "big" birthday thing. Theres 13, when you finally become a "teen", theres the sweet 16, theres turning 18 and being able to buy smokes or go to a strip club and most clubs, and lastly it's 21. Looking back at my life, I've done a lot yet at the same time I've done very little, and I don't know how to feel about it. Are you suppose to feel a little different after every passing year? I never really have, I mean most people that know me know that I'm silly, and act like a kid most the times. I sit around and play video games with something that can sometimes be called borderline obsession, though I know I'm not the worst addict as I'm dating someone who is even worse when it comes to WoW and most videogames in general. :P And I'm definately not going to be changing.

So, with that said. One thing I do look forward to on my birthday... Cake. Theres always cake, and icecream, and pizza. Dunno when that'll be. But then the weekend right after my birthday I'll prolly buy more cake, a bottle of jack, or gin, and stay over steves again. He'll eat all the cake though :P All you gotta do is tell him there will be cake somewhere and he'll be all excited to go.

Mmmm cake.


I completely lost track of what I was rambling about :D

So... I have a headache, and I can't sleep. I've been drinking just a very minimal amount which probably accounts for the headache. Also, this screen? It's very white, and I'm in a very dark room. That doesn't help either. Not one. single. bit. Ah well.

it's 4:10am, I didn't even realize it was that late really. I should go back to snuggling and attempt once more to sleep. But theres just a lot of crap that I can't stop thinking about, and some of which are making me just not like myself. I'm happy, but in order for me to be happy, I had to hurt ppl that have been friends, some of which were very good friends, to get there.

This is nostalgia at its finest.


I hate it

How can it be so unbearably hot outside, and so incredibly cold inside. Can I find no happy medium? >.<

So I'm sitting here in the basement, in my hoodie, and cold. Bleh. Steve is cuddled up on the couch with Milo, my kitten that I brought over after Steve bugged me to do so for the last week. They look so cute playing together and such.

Myself, though. Meh, I seem to be having a kind of off day. or last few days really. Too much going through my head about a couple things and really having no clue what to do whatsoever.

Maybe I'll elaborate more later. Iono, for now I'm out.

Hrm, so Wow, yeah. A little has happened since I posted last. I have a vehicle now. '92 sonoma thats pretty good on gas for a truck. It needs a paint job though, right now it's red primer and looks very... hick mexican like? My stepdad loves how it looks (go figure) but whatever, it gets me from point A to point B and thats what really matters.

Uhm, Steve got the motherboard and processor for the emachines, and I bought another gig of ram for it as it's the computer that goes with me home and back to his house. Eventually I'll just buy it, after I'm done getting more stuff for it, like a new harddrive maybe? Iono. In a week or so I'm going camping with the family, I'm not sure if we're doing it this week, or actually on fourth of july weekend, though if I had to guess, I'd say that it'd be that weekend. I miss camping, back when me, Kory, and Crystal all hung out there during the summers. I should catch up with both of them and see how they're doing. Last I heard, Crystal was engaged and Kory... well, I heard he ran off from his foster home and was living on the streets, going between houses so who knows with him now. He checks his myspace now and again though.

Speaking of friends, I haven't heard from Richard in some time which is weird. Even in Illinois I heard from him pretty damned often, we've been like siblings since 3rd-4th grade. He told me he was moving, whether or not he did, I have no clue, but that could account for the lack of communication on that side. Ah well, C'est la vie.

Other than that, STILL looking for a job, though I will admit that I'm not doing so avidly =X which I really should for a couple reasons, like supporting my WoW addiction. At least now I can go back to doing the little bit of work I did with commissions and make minor spending money of thats. I should play furcadia again, thats where 90% of my commission base came from anyhow, but first I need to re-familiarize myself with photoshop.

On a side note. My thumb hurts because SOMEONE stabbed me (accidently, of course. My poking him with blunt object=him poking back with sharp object, and me being me, tried to counter the knife... with my hand.) pretty decent cut too. Didn't hurt much, just bleed like a sonofabitch.

Steve is pestering me now, so I'm putting distance between us. bye now, I'll post back later.